Friday, August 22, 2008

Another Stain on McCain

The amount of times this has happened to me!

DEMOCRAT Barack Obama ripped into John McCain after after the Republican confessed her didn't know how many homes he owned, saying he would have to ask his staff.

With polls showing the White House race tighter than ever, and the economy by far the top concern of anxious US voters, Senator Obama and other top Democrats pounced on an interview given by Senator McCain to Politico.com.

Asked how many houses he owns, Senator McCain said: "I think - I'll have my staff get to you.



Sure, it's a bit embarassing! But how can he be expected to remember such things? He is the oldest man alive, his memory isn't what it used to be.

I feel bad, only writing negative things about Johnny McCain. So here is a positive. He has good genes!

Below is his daughter Meghan. She is actually really cute. And she voted for John Kerry! Of course, now she is on the dark side, but she is still attractive. Props to you, Meghan!


Do you think they surrounded her with as much new technology and 'young people' items to try and sub-consciously convince the readers that McCain isn't as old and out of touch as we know he is? I think so. And i'm always right.

Up next we have the boyz. This is for you, ladies.

Here is John McCain jr, next to the old man. He prefers to be called Jack. He is in the navy, but he's not a dirty fag. He plays football. His dad doesn't know how many houses he owns.


And here is Jack with younger brother Jimmy.


So there you go. That's about the most positive i can get about Mr McCain. I should get a gold star for effort.

Friday, August 15, 2008

Cindy McPain.

Can i just say, this story made me laugh and laugh and laugh.  And i should feel bad, but really.  It's hilarious.

So here we go.  This is how you know you are getting old:

Handshake sends Cindy McCain to hospital.

Washington:  John McCain's wife Cindy had to go to hospital for treatment on a sprained wrist after an overexuberant handshake from a supporter.  

Cindy McCain appeared at a press conference alongside her Republican candidate husband with her right arm in a sling following her visit to a hospital in Michigan to have an X-ray.  

Her husband is eight hundred years old, and she is getting serious injuries from a handshake.  It's time to retire, people!  

The thing is, she isn't that old.  However, i think spending so much time with her great grandfather (husband) is sucking the life out of her.  Her bones are turning to dust!  

This is her now:
















This is her when November rolls around:

Sunday, July 27, 2008

I love the smell of homophobia in the morning

There is nothing like waking up early Sunday morning to read a story about former premier of your country comparing a gay man to a paedophile. It really warms the cockles of my heart.
Here's the story:

FORMER state premier Jeff Kennett has provoked a gay rights storm by backing a football club that sacked a trainer for being gay.

The Hawthorn president and potential Melbourne lord mayor sparked calls for his sacking after saying Bonnie Doon Football Club was within its rights to sack veteran trainer Ken Campagnolo after it found out he was gay.

"The club felt that once this had been pointed out and you had this gentleman there who was obviously close to young men - massaging young men - it ran an unnecessary risk and that's why it decided it was best that he not perform those duties again. So the club was trying to do the right thing," Mr Kennett said.

"When you are in charge of a group of young boys, as this club was as I understand it, it's got to make sure."

Mr Kennett said it was as if the club had a pedophile trainer.

"It's the same if you have a pedophile there as a masseur, right?"

"And you might say the pedophile would do no damage, but once it was pointed out to you, you have a duty of care to those underage children not to put them in a situation of risk."

He could not guarantee a gay trainer would be welcome at Hawthorn, adding: "I don't know if we've got any.

"I'm just saying at the moment we have a duty of care to our players and staff and you have to make judgments on that. If you don't do it you end up with potential legal liability."


Do you understand yet? Even though the masseuse is a trained professional who worked for the club and performed his duties over 678 games, he obviously can't be trusted around boys or men. Especially if he has to TOUCH them. We all know fags can't be around men without raping them. Because they are gay, so they are attracted to men. So therefore it's impossible for gay men to be around any men without being attracted to all of them at once. Ergo, you have to molest every man you touch in the vicinity of your hands. It must be tiring!


PROOF.

Oh i forgot to mention that the accused is an ex-soldier. That's just like the government, they'll happily take your service defending your country, your tax payments, your help fostering children, but just don't dare ask for equal treatment. OR ELSE.

He's gonna get ya, homos.

I would also like to point out that Mr Kennett is currently the head of Beyond Blue, a national depression organisation. When on Andrew Dentons 'Enough Rope' this is what he had to say about the organisation and why he got involved:

"I started advocating, about two years before we lost office in 1999, the need to establish nationally a body addressing depression in our society. My daughter had come to me and said - after two deaths of young men in the western district here in Victoria - "Dad, what are you gonna do to stop these deaths of young men?" When we looked at those two deaths, they weren't just car deaths, although they'd used their car, they were two young men who were so depressed they'd used their car to take their life. You've got to understand, one in five will suffer from depression at some stage in life - 800,000, in any one year, Australians. And, sadly, seven people every day are taking their own lives in Australia - more than twice the road trauma"

The hypocrisy ASTOUNDS. I'm as shocked right now as i would be if Britney Spears won a mother of the year award. A recenty study in Australia found that suicide is the leading cause of death among gay male, lesbian, bisexual and transexual youth. Gay males were six times more likely to make an attempt than heterosexual males. A majority of the suicide attempts took place at age 20 or younger, with nearly one-third occuring before age 17.

So what better way for the chairman of a depression organisation, concerned about suicide of young men to act. Make it evident to those young men that not only are they not welcome in the football arena in any shape or form, but they are in fact the equivalent of paedophiles.

If he's looking to drum up some more business for Beyond Blue, he's going about it the right way.

Oh, also - who is going to tell all of those women massage therapists and physiotherapists that they can no longer work in the football industry? Women are attracted to men, therefore they obviously can't do a job that involves touching them.

MAKES SENSE.

Thursday, May 22, 2008

The Today Ho

I turned on the television this morning, and the Today show was on. I was about to immediately change the channel so that i wouldn't lose brain cells, but they were talking about something interesting. They were discussing why men don't commit to marriage, etc. They had vox pops of various bogans, and then they got into the 'real' issues. This is what they came up with:

Number 1 - Women are too picky

Number 2 - Women come on too strong

Number 3 - Women need to be more feminine

Of course, this sage advice came from an 'expert' on the subject.

Samantha Brett. She is looking into your soul.

Seriously, who would listen to this person regarding ANYTHING? So men don't commit because of various things that women are doing wrong. Gee, thanks Samantha. How would society continue to function without you?

Seriously, the only way there could be a person more vapid and less interesting than her is if she procreated with:


Richard Wilkins. He makes celebrities uncomfortable.


Think of the ratings Channel 9!

Tuesday, May 6, 2008

Neighb-Whores

Now, I'm not really a soapies watcher, but i just love Neighbours. I really do. I think it goes back to my childhood. It allows me to cast my mind back to the good times. One such good time it inspired was that glorious day in 1992 when my older (very macho) brother cried at this event:

Oh Todd Landers, you have brought me so much teasing ability in the last 16 years. Bless thee and your outfit, which seems to be entirely made from denim. It still doesn't beat the time my brothers cried like babies when they were grounded and missed an episode of Beverly Hills 90210. But still.

Anyway, one of the main reasons i love Neighbours is that it also showcases my favourite television lady:

Why yes, this jar does contain my awesomeness cream. I rub it on several times a day to keep this awesome glow that surrounds my awesome being. No, you can't have any. I'm married to Dr Karl, i need every drop i can get. That cheating fucker.

And you have to hand it to Neighbours, they are currently showcasing the most openly, flamboyantly gay character ever in the history of the world:








Wait, wrong timeslot.

Thursday, April 3, 2008

Ramsesame Street












The End.

Sunday, March 2, 2008

Greatest Snorts Hero

So there is a show called 20 to 1. It's hosted by Bert Newton. They countdown a specific list of people or events from *surprise* 20 to 1. The countdown topic last week was Australian sports heroes. I wouldn't usually watch this show, however, BJ and i saw the ad. The ad showed Greg Norman, and we had a discussion that eventuated in our bet that Karrie Webb would be included as well. BJ thought she wouldn't, because she is a woman. I thought she HAD to be, if Norman was. Seeing as she is the best, most successful golfer this country has ever seen.

I lost the bet.

Fourteen of the twenty sports 'heroes' listed were men. This wasn't surprising. What was surprising is how this show classes heroes. First of all, i have a problem with sports people being called 'heroes' anyway. But this was even worse. Here are some examples of the men that were included:

Peter Brock

Wayne Carey

Jeff Fenech

Andrew Johns

Greg Norman

Shane Warne

Wow, what a great bunch of men. In that group we have (alleged) wife beaters, adulterers, thieves and drug cheats.

What HEROES!


Really, 20 to 1? Heroes? What a great example you set for the children watching that show. One day you too can aspire to the sporting elite, do anything you want, and STILL be called a hero. Sure, these men achieved a lot in their chosen sports. However, should they really be lauded to the public as heroes? We all know how they have conducted themselves off the field/pitch/park/course. Surely that has to contribute to how they should be perceived.